Happy New Year!! This year brings many changes to our family.
Charles has parked his semi truck and is looking for a full time job in town. We are excited to have him home each and every night with us. However, it has been an adjustment for me. It is kind of like when you first get married – you each have your own rhythm of living and your own set of quirks. We have been married over 17 years but have not lived day in and day out together since just before our second wedding anniversary. I have had the cold/flu/crud that is going around my office and Charles has been trying to take care of me – I don’t know how to let him. The other night he looked at me and asked me to just let him help. He has been great to make dinner, run kids to and from school and activities.
Maggie has adjusted to being home. She is now seeing her therapist weekly. It has been a huge change to live with her little siblings instead of a household of girls her own age. Maggie likes her new school but again this too is an adjustment as she has only been to school with all girls on site at her RTC’s. Her new school is small but co ed. I am relieved to hear her describe boys as “weird”. Maggie is helping teach dance to the younger kids at the school and has tried out for the girls basketball team.
Caitlin is getting busier and busier – She loves Young Womens and school. She has her own room downstairs now and loves the independence it brings. For Christmas Santa brought a Wii. She loves Just Dance 2 and there always seems to be a dance off happening in our familyroom. I think now that it is so cold she really hates to walk Buddy the dog – however the consequence of not walking him is worse.
Sydney had her IEP last week. She is making slow progress but it is progress at school. The semester changes soon and that means three new classes. I never thought I’d be so glad to see a PE class end. Her teacher just doesn’t get Sydney or her needs. She has a transplant clinic appt coming up – I’m sure it will be fine as always.
Jonathan is now 8. He started cub scouts and LOVES it!!! His new meds are working better for his social phobia and anxiety. Jon loves having his dad home every night. It has taken some getting used to but he looks forward to doing his homework with Charles. Jon loves the Wii – sometimes a bit too much.
Zachary is well Zachary. He is so busy and into everything – he always asks “how, why, how come” type questions. For Christmas the boys received a ton of building block type toys – legos, nuts and blots, tinker toys etc. Zachary is always making something. He is still in love with his Buddy dog – however we are working more and more on being gentle.
As for me work is very busy – sometimes too busy. I met with my manager because I feel like I could work 70 hours a week and there would still be tasks to do. John told me that was normal. I’m so glad that we have our perm leadership team in place – maybe we can get a bunch of stuff done! It is the beginning of our busy season with many groups preparing to fly over the next three months. Next month is my first performance review as a supervisor and I am way nervous.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Cancer... The Unwelcome Holiday Guest
In late October we learned that my dad (in Layton) had a mass on his pancreas. My mom took him to the Huntsman Cancer Institute for a biopsy and scans. After the biopsy results were back we learned that it was indeed cancer. However the doctors we beyond positive – they told us that they never find pancreatic cancer this early and staged it at stage 2. They sent Dad home to see a surgeon in Ogden the next week. After he saw the surgeon they scheduled the Whipple procedure – a very invasive surgical procedure that takes 8-10 hours to complete for the day before Thanksgiving.
Wednesday 24 November came – My mom took my dad to Ogden Regional at 0600. It had been a horrible storm the night before – I even sent my Crewmembers home early from work. Because of how painful this surgery is they gave my dad an epidural, and wrapped him in a bear hugger to keep him warm while he was on the table. They began to put my dad out and finish the prep work just before 0900. I went into work and figured that around 2pm I’d leave to head to Ogden. I spoke to my mom and she said not to worry and that would be fine. 45 minutes later it was not fine. My sister text messaged me to call our mom ASAP.
The surgery was over – the cancer had spread, liver, stomach, lymph nodes. Stage 4 aggressive pancreatic cancer. My heart dropped – I started to cry and walked into John’s office and told him I was leaving.
Being me and not knowing what else to do I picked up Sweet Tooth Fairy cupcakes and a coke. I was still crying in the shop. The poor lady behind the counter felt so bad and gave me free coke. My brother phoned – he was on his way to the Atlanta airport to fly to Tucson to see his in-laws for Thanksgiving. Patrick wanted to know what to do – change his ticket and come home or go to Tucson still. I had to call Grandpa Coleman and our cousin Lottie so the family could be informed. I called Charles and sobbed.
The roads were bad and I was still crying. All I could think about were the words of the priesthood blessing Dad had received the Sunday before – all about how his family would be comforted – nothing about dad just his family. Then I had that warm feeling come over me and knew that we would not be alone during this time. My dad is a good man – married my mom and her two small girls and took care of us. Sometimes I just have to turn it over to the Lord and let life happen in His time not mine.
Wednesday 24 November came – My mom took my dad to Ogden Regional at 0600. It had been a horrible storm the night before – I even sent my Crewmembers home early from work. Because of how painful this surgery is they gave my dad an epidural, and wrapped him in a bear hugger to keep him warm while he was on the table. They began to put my dad out and finish the prep work just before 0900. I went into work and figured that around 2pm I’d leave to head to Ogden. I spoke to my mom and she said not to worry and that would be fine. 45 minutes later it was not fine. My sister text messaged me to call our mom ASAP.
The surgery was over – the cancer had spread, liver, stomach, lymph nodes. Stage 4 aggressive pancreatic cancer. My heart dropped – I started to cry and walked into John’s office and told him I was leaving.
Being me and not knowing what else to do I picked up Sweet Tooth Fairy cupcakes and a coke. I was still crying in the shop. The poor lady behind the counter felt so bad and gave me free coke. My brother phoned – he was on his way to the Atlanta airport to fly to Tucson to see his in-laws for Thanksgiving. Patrick wanted to know what to do – change his ticket and come home or go to Tucson still. I had to call Grandpa Coleman and our cousin Lottie so the family could be informed. I called Charles and sobbed.
The roads were bad and I was still crying. All I could think about were the words of the priesthood blessing Dad had received the Sunday before – all about how his family would be comforted – nothing about dad just his family. Then I had that warm feeling come over me and knew that we would not be alone during this time. My dad is a good man – married my mom and her two small girls and took care of us. Sometimes I just have to turn it over to the Lord and let life happen in His time not mine.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Paul Cardall -- A Hero in my Book
Being Sydney's Mom has taught me a lot about courage and living. Living is not merely surviving but enjoying the journey, finding joy in the small moments. Meeting others who have survived until adulthood with CHD has been like a light in a long dark tunnel. Paul is a gifted talented musician -- that would be an understatement. He went to my favorite heart group’s annual meeting (It's My Heart) in Houston last month and spoke. I felt sad that I couldn't be there but from all of the reports from other heart mom's it was amazing!
So tonight I wanted to share with you a small clip of his music. I cannot wait until his book comes out this fall.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Peaches
I found a killer deal on peaches at Sunflower Market -- they were only .47 a pound. I bought about 35 lbs. I made freezer peaches, freezer jam, regular jam and also some cherry jam. I have to say I am loving having my garden and looking forward to canning tomatos, beets, and salsa later in the year.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Canada Day
Whatever would I do without my work family? My friends in CRC threw me a Happy Canada Day party today. We had food, treats, teasing about where I'm from. It was the perfect day! This is part of the reason I love working here! Thanks to each and everyone of you! You made my day!!! Pics to follow
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Sydney's Hospital Trip
As the work party was winding down Sydney told me she didn't feel well. I thought no big deal -- we'll head home rest and all will be right with the world. Not 30 seconds later Sydney said "Momma my chest hurts". At that point I noticed she was a little grey and covered in a cold sweat. This is a moment every heart mom dreads -- at least I assume we all do. This moment has NEVER happened to us before. The first thought that ran thru my head was "Oh my HELL not now"! The next thing I knew Sydney was leaning into me with her eyes open wide saying her chest hurt, and now her arm.
I told the boys it was time to go -- they were both so good. We headed to the van and I made Sydney sit in the front seat. I phoned the transplant nurse on call and held for what seemed like forever -- really only 10 minutes. By the time I spoke to her we were heading down Parley's Canyon. I kept expecting her to tell me to take her home and watch her -- Nope. We were invited to go and see them in the ER. As I looked at Sydney who had tears in her eyes, and my two little big boys in their car seats I wanted to cry. Caitlin was at Youth Conference and I was on my own. The boys I'm sure were hopped up on cotton candy, soda and a fun afternoon of rides. A trip to the ER was not going to be on their "list". I called Charles and he was able to get a hold of his parents. They had his brother’s boys but my FIL could come down and get the boys if needed. As I was driving down Foothill Blvd. the thought came to my mind to call Wennie. Wennie would come and get the boys at the ER, take them home, pack them up, feed them dinner and give them to my FIL. Oh what would we do without our Wennie?
At the ER there was no parking, the valet was closed so we parked in the BMT. Someday when I build a hospital it will have more than 10 parking spots at the ER. I carried Sydney in with Jon holding Zachary's hand following behind. At the check in desk I got to hear one girl’s tale of sadness about her yellow bridesmaid dress with pink flowers on it for a wedding this summer. On the third "excuse me" she acknowledged that we were there and asked me to wait -- I told her "no" that we were there by the request of Cardiology and could not wait. Nice reception girl informed me that they did not have a paper from Cards on a Sydney VanShaar however they did have one on a Tiffany VanShaar with the same birthday as Sydney etc (insert eye roll here).
The LPN came out and got Sydney who had quit talking and took her into a triage room. Sydney's heart rate was quite high (150+) and her blood pressure low (60's/40's). They paged the Cardiologist on call -- and moved us to a trauma room. The fellow from cards came in and ordered a ton of tests, and then asked Sydney what had happened. Sydney just looked at him and didn't say much. Brother Jon to the rescue -- he told Dr. Hoffman all about what happened. I hate having Jon know so much when he is so little. The lab came, EKG, x-ray, and then we headed for an echo just as Wennie got there. It was good timing as the boys had explored every part of the room and had used all of the stickers we had. The EKG was a bit off, her echo was okay, her lab work was fine -- not dehydrated, and the x-ray looked a bit off as well.
The plan was made -- admit to cardiology for at least overnight to rule out a heart attack. I think this was the point I asked if they (the cardiology team) were serious. They were. At that point I was scared. Dr. E even came in – hello it is 9 at night – cardiologists don’t come in at night.
We headed up to the third floor for the night -- I had nothing with me just my hot sweaty clothes I'd worn all day. I didn't feel like I could leave so I just sat there feeling icky. Thank goodness for my sister Mandy who came with all of the needed items. We spent the night talking and playing games.
Sydney slept well overnight but had some pain. Her labs looked good and they eventually decided that she had an infection in her sternum and her cyclo level was way off. At that point they were able to discharge her -- none too soon.
She has her regular cardiology visit on 8 July -- so we hope to stay healthy until then.
I told the boys it was time to go -- they were both so good. We headed to the van and I made Sydney sit in the front seat. I phoned the transplant nurse on call and held for what seemed like forever -- really only 10 minutes. By the time I spoke to her we were heading down Parley's Canyon. I kept expecting her to tell me to take her home and watch her -- Nope. We were invited to go and see them in the ER. As I looked at Sydney who had tears in her eyes, and my two little big boys in their car seats I wanted to cry. Caitlin was at Youth Conference and I was on my own. The boys I'm sure were hopped up on cotton candy, soda and a fun afternoon of rides. A trip to the ER was not going to be on their "list". I called Charles and he was able to get a hold of his parents. They had his brother’s boys but my FIL could come down and get the boys if needed. As I was driving down Foothill Blvd. the thought came to my mind to call Wennie. Wennie would come and get the boys at the ER, take them home, pack them up, feed them dinner and give them to my FIL. Oh what would we do without our Wennie?
At the ER there was no parking, the valet was closed so we parked in the BMT. Someday when I build a hospital it will have more than 10 parking spots at the ER. I carried Sydney in with Jon holding Zachary's hand following behind. At the check in desk I got to hear one girl’s tale of sadness about her yellow bridesmaid dress with pink flowers on it for a wedding this summer. On the third "excuse me" she acknowledged that we were there and asked me to wait -- I told her "no" that we were there by the request of Cardiology and could not wait. Nice reception girl informed me that they did not have a paper from Cards on a Sydney VanShaar however they did have one on a Tiffany VanShaar with the same birthday as Sydney etc (insert eye roll here).
The LPN came out and got Sydney who had quit talking and took her into a triage room. Sydney's heart rate was quite high (150+) and her blood pressure low (60's/40's). They paged the Cardiologist on call -- and moved us to a trauma room. The fellow from cards came in and ordered a ton of tests, and then asked Sydney what had happened. Sydney just looked at him and didn't say much. Brother Jon to the rescue -- he told Dr. Hoffman all about what happened. I hate having Jon know so much when he is so little. The lab came, EKG, x-ray, and then we headed for an echo just as Wennie got there. It was good timing as the boys had explored every part of the room and had used all of the stickers we had. The EKG was a bit off, her echo was okay, her lab work was fine -- not dehydrated, and the x-ray looked a bit off as well.
The plan was made -- admit to cardiology for at least overnight to rule out a heart attack. I think this was the point I asked if they (the cardiology team) were serious. They were. At that point I was scared. Dr. E even came in – hello it is 9 at night – cardiologists don’t come in at night.
We headed up to the third floor for the night -- I had nothing with me just my hot sweaty clothes I'd worn all day. I didn't feel like I could leave so I just sat there feeling icky. Thank goodness for my sister Mandy who came with all of the needed items. We spent the night talking and playing games.
Sydney slept well overnight but had some pain. Her labs looked good and they eventually decided that she had an infection in her sternum and her cyclo level was way off. At that point they were able to discharge her -- none too soon.
She has her regular cardiology visit on 8 July -- so we hope to stay healthy until then.
Works 10 Year Birthday Party
The place I work held our 10 year birthday party was held at Park City Mountain Resort. I could not imagine it would be as wonderful as it was. There was tons of food, games and rides for the kids and adults along with giveaways of every kind. It was nice to be up in the mountains for a few hours where it was quite a bit cooler. I have pics to post but I can't find my cord so they will have to come later.
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